A New Job

Good news! After two long years, I am going to start a new job! Next week Monday I will begin work for Words of Hope on their Spotlight Radio Program. This is a great combination of ministry work and writing. I have been freelancing for them for a couple of months, so I have a good idea of the work and my co-workers.

This is an answer to many prayers by many people. While this job offer does not answer the questions, "Why did this have to take two years?" or "Where is God in the waiting?" these are easier questions to have unanswered with a job, than without. The last two years have been too difficult to dismiss in a moment of illumination. It would be self-patronizing to see this job as God's reason for walking me through a valley of self-doubt and worry.

In the song "Amazing Grace" there is the line, "I once was lost and now am found." For me, this is one of those instances. I don't know the reason it took so long for me to find a job. I don't know why I had to send out 99 resumes before something took. I don't know why a lot of things happened over the last few years. But I know that I reached a point where I said to God, "I cannot do this. I have exhausted my effort, my courage, my belief in my own marketability."

"I once was lost and now and found." This does not only apply to our ultimate salvation. It is the example of Christian testimony. I know where I was and I know where I am. I don't know how or why I got from one point to the other, but here I am. I am not yet ready to assign a wider meaning to this part of my life, but I can point to grace. I refuse to trivialize my experience by rushing to claim that I see "God's plan" through this. I may make this step one day, but not today.

Today, it is enough to express my gratitude, to sing, to dance, to laugh. I will let go of my desire for meaning-making. I will ignore my wish to create of a unified narrative in my life. I will accept that God's plan is sometimes too complex for me. Instead, I will hold open my hand and accept the grace that has come my way.

The Brick Wall of Opinions

Maybe its because it's an election year. Maybe it's due to climate change or a struggling economy. I suppose it doesn't really matter why, but I have noticed an increase in the amount of opinions lately. This is not necessarily an increase in quality, merely in quantity. They are all over the place. Newspaper editorials, coffee house conversations, and churches are overflowing with opinions.

Not that I am against conversations. I am delighted that public and private conversations are being had on issues or race, carbon emissions, immigration, sexuality, economics, gender, social equality, ethics, AIDS, and war. What disturbs me is the concrete finality of so many opinions. People are closing themselves off to new ideas. They settle into themselves as they trade the vibrancy of life for a sense of security.

In Mortimer J. Adler's classic How To Read A Book, he writes (roughly) that to read a book properly we must become sympathetic readers. This means that, during the reading of a book, we must accept the premises of the author. (The opposite of this would be reading defensively.) After finishing a book we reflect upon what we have read and then integrate whatever elements are of value, even if these element challenge our way of thinking and view of the world.

This might seem to be an obvious point, but who has not picked up a book with preconceived notions about what it will be about and whether we will like it? There are too many books available not to use some amount of pre-judgment in the selection of what we read. The problem arises when we avoid literature merely because we disagree with the conclusions (in non-fiction) or the morality of the characters (in fiction).

The principle of sympathetic readers applies more widely than book selection. For example, I know that one day my kid will play some music that I do no instantly enjoy. I need to remain sympathetic both to experiencing the music and as well as to my child's experience of it. If I reject the music as "trash" or "noise" all I have done is form a divisive opinion. I have lost both an opportunity to learn about a new type of music as well as, more importantly, the chance to connect with a human being whom I love.

The same principle can apply to issues of race, carbon emissions, immigration, sexuality, economics, gender, social equality, ethics, AIDS, and war. Unfortunately, some of the loudest voices in society are not being sympathetic listeners or speakers. Pundits, preachers, and politicians are out to accomplish and achieve and are uninterested in listening sympathetically. Admittedly, it is hard to listen sympathetically and spew an opinion at the same time.

While it may be impossible to not use some level of pre-judgment when we talk about issues or people, we should not avoid discussion the of an issue (or ideas, people, art, food, cultures, etc.) simply because it does not instantly gel with our sensibilities.

We can become locked into an opinion at any time. However it's easiest to see as people grow older. Listen carefully for some key phrases like, "That not how I was raised..." or "Back in my day..." or "We were never brought up to..." The passage of time and growing older should never be an excuse to stop learning, from opening your mind to new experiences. The moment you stop listening to new music, or reading, or you let your ideas stagnate is the day you begin "have opinions" rather than continue to learn and grow and change.

I don't know if this is entirely avoidable. Life changes so quickly that it is hard to keep up. But as long as we draw breathe we must hold onto the wild vibrancy of life rather than succumb to fear and hide behind a wall built out of the bricks of opinion.

Gulf Shores, AL

This past week Caryn and I were in Gulf Shores, AL. This was a nice vacation for us. We both needed one and we recognize that after the babies arrive we won't have the mobility that we have now. Enjoy this pictures from our trip.