A New Job

Good news! After two long years, I am going to start a new job! Next week Monday I will begin work for Words of Hope on their Spotlight Radio Program. This is a great combination of ministry work and writing. I have been freelancing for them for a couple of months, so I have a good idea of the work and my co-workers.

This is an answer to many prayers by many people. While this job offer does not answer the questions, "Why did this have to take two years?" or "Where is God in the waiting?" these are easier questions to have unanswered with a job, than without. The last two years have been too difficult to dismiss in a moment of illumination. It would be self-patronizing to see this job as God's reason for walking me through a valley of self-doubt and worry.

In the song "Amazing Grace" there is the line, "I once was lost and now am found." For me, this is one of those instances. I don't know the reason it took so long for me to find a job. I don't know why I had to send out 99 resumes before something took. I don't know why a lot of things happened over the last few years. But I know that I reached a point where I said to God, "I cannot do this. I have exhausted my effort, my courage, my belief in my own marketability."

"I once was lost and now and found." This does not only apply to our ultimate salvation. It is the example of Christian testimony. I know where I was and I know where I am. I don't know how or why I got from one point to the other, but here I am. I am not yet ready to assign a wider meaning to this part of my life, but I can point to grace. I refuse to trivialize my experience by rushing to claim that I see "God's plan" through this. I may make this step one day, but not today.

Today, it is enough to express my gratitude, to sing, to dance, to laugh. I will let go of my desire for meaning-making. I will ignore my wish to create of a unified narrative in my life. I will accept that God's plan is sometimes too complex for me. Instead, I will hold open my hand and accept the grace that has come my way.