Here Come the Holidays

Much like our waistlines after December, the holiday season is looming large. Many of you are not ready for primetime eating. Because you have not been properly stretching your stomachs, you are just asking for injury from a cookie that you never saw coming. But there are still things that you can do to get ready. Following these easy steps and you will hit your weight goals and sail through December and early January without a problem.

First, remember that God gave you two hands for a reason. If God did not want us to be constantly eating, we would have only have one hand.

Next, keep in mind that as a species, we have evolved past the fork. We began with chopsticks, then moved onto forks, now a new jump in culinary evolution has been made with the advent of finger-eating. I challenge you to find any food that cannot be eating with your hand. Soups are admittedly a problem, so avoid them. That shouldn't be too hard. I mean how many people, when you ask them to name thier favorite food say, "OH, Soup, for sure!" And don't worry about the heat burning your hands. Not only will you adjust to the high temperatures, most of your eating times will be buffet style, so all you have to do is simply wait until all the food has reached a tepid room temprature and you'll be fine.

Finally, stop moving. People move far too much today. God gave us butts for a reason. I see people moving so much more than they need to. They will gesture with their hands when they talk, cross and uncross their legs as they sit, even using all 10 fingers to type on a keyboard. (I only use my thumbs. Saves me 150 calories a day.) Slow down. We have 3 months of summer to do all the moving around we want. Winter is a time for watching television and sleeping. Which, while we are on that note, TV is a great way to help you loose track of how much you've eaten and add "bonus pounds" that are the key to the rolly-poly shape you're after.

So, while you should have been doing these things starting in September, remember that its never too late to start. Keeping pounding away those cookies and tossing back that egg-nog.