What's Indebtedness Between Friends?
Summer has brought out the sad state of our country.
It has become clear to me that people are no longer able to remain in the debt of their friends and family. Let me illustrate: if I watch someone's dog or water their plants when they go away on vacation, they feel they need to pay me, often in the form of a gift card (why not cash?). Even if I insist such payment is unnecessary, they will all but shove money into my hand. Of course, I then feel I must reciprocate if I go away and need the favor returned. Instead of just exchanging services as friends should, an extra step is added, "the gift-card tango."
Like 36% of the nations problems, I blame this on credit cards. We aren't forced to borrow money from Mom and Pop any more because we can borrow money from Mr. Plastic. Mr. Plastic communicates by mail, whereas we Mom and Pop face to face at potlucks and barbecues. We would rather borrow money at 23% interest that recon with our own dependance. I know there are dangers of borrowing money from your family, but can they be greater than the dangers of borrowing money from credit card companies?
It seems we have deluded ourselves into to believing the myth of independence to such an extent that at the slightest indication of indebtedness to someone we try to re-establish our isolation by treating to lunch or writing a check. This is not good. Has the simple hand written thank you note become extinct? We are all dependent on one another. No one makes it though the world alone. And if I need your help moving or buying a car or babysitting, don't try and pay me. I'm your friend, not a professional service. Say "Thank you." It means more to me than a cup of coffee or an ice cream cone. I'm tired of the "gift-card tango" and I'm not going to do it anymore.
2 Comments:
Rock on.. let's bring back the whole friendship meaning more then spending time together, but supporting eachother with service!
Great post. I tracked your post from a friend's. I totally agree. Our family just got back from vacation. We had someone come over to feed our goldfish and bring in our mail. Now, that someone is a 15 year old, so I feel obliged to give her cash. If the person was an adult, I would not feel obliged to give anything but maybe a handwritten thank you with a bouquet of flowers. But I do not like it that our neighbors ask us to take out their garbage cans and back in again and then want to pay us cash. "That's what neighbors do for each other," I tell them. Once, a boy came to the door selling the Sunday Tribune for a limited time to earn points to go on a special school trip. I bought the special offer, and because he earned extra bonus points, I bought for the neighbor's as well. She found out about it and demanded on paying me for it. I bought it for a gift, and just helping the student out. It's like people don't want to feel like they "owe" anybody anything these days.
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