What a Difference Two-Ninths of an Inch Makes

For a long time now, I have been keeping my hair quite short. "Buzzed" in the vernacular. Here's a picture of me from a year ago.
It was about as short as it could get. For at least 2 years now I have been using the clippers with absolutely no guard on it. But recently, I decided that I wasn't going to fight what I saw as inevitable: the disappearance of my hair. So I shaved it. Vernacular: I "bic'd" it.

You might say, "But Adam, there's nothing wrong with a receding hairline." I've even heard that its actually sexy. That may be all true, but I felt more comfortable with it shaved and I think that matters most. I actually didn't think it would be that big a deal since the actual difference between my current hair(less) style and my previous one is a fraction of a tiny bit of a spec. Boy was I wrong.

People went nuts! I would see people and they would look at me like I'd just tattooed a dragon on my face. They'd say, "You look different." and they'd rub their own head, a gesture I don't really understand. Are they checking that their own hair is still attached? Are they worried they are going to catch my baldness?

So based on my experiences I've come up with a list of DON'T DO'S for you when you meet someone who shaves their head.

1. Don't mention cancer or chemotherapy.
You would think this would be just common sense, but you'd be surprised how often it gets mentioned. I haven't said, "Yes, I have cancer you insensitive brat, what's it to you?" But I just might the next time it happens.

2. Don't say, "I once shaved my head on a bet" or "I once shaved my head for charity"
I did this on purpose and didn't make any money for myself or a good cause. You make it sound like a freakish thing to do, something that should only happen if you had to do it.

3. Don't touch a bald person's head.
It's absolutely amazing how many people just reach out a touch your head. I think this is what it must be like for pregnant women when people just rub their stomach. Dozens of people rub have rubbed my head. I mean, at least ask! People don't normally rub one anothers heads, but when they get around a bald person, they revert to little children and their grubby little mitts reach out as if they are not longer in control of themselves.

4. Don't say "Cue ball" or "Mr. Clean" or any other nickname.
I don't make up nicknames for your haircuts. Believe me I could, but I don't.

5. Don't say anything at all.
For men and women both, hair is a sensitive thing. When people get a new hair cut, you never say, "What did you do?" You say, "It looks nice" even if you think it looks like they have a dead rat on their head. A shaved head is still a hair style and I'm still sensitive about it. So if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

I invite the brotherhood of baldies to post their horror experience and too add any rules. Here's a picture of me now. I think I look pretty good. My head isn't perfectly round, its got its own bumps and lumps. But it just keeps me humble. I mean I can get pretty full of myself and then I'll catch a look of myself in the mirror and think, "Yet, but you've got a funny head." Keeps things light. Sometimes I miss a spot and I'll have a patch of stubble on the back of my head, but if you see it, don't tell me. I don't care. I think I look pretty good.